


when you're smiling

by perfectlyrose



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4617648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlyrose/pseuds/perfectlyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up to her smile was an experience he treasured above all. The first time each one of Rose’s Doctors wakes up to see Rose Tyler smiling at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you're smiling

**Author's Note:**

> for the lovely and amazing Jenny (tinyconfusion) over on tumblr ♥

It wasn’t the first time Rose had had a nightmare since stepping aboard the TARDIS. It was, however, the first time her scream pierced the silent corridors where the Doctor was on the way to the galley. He took off at full speed towards her bedroom as soon as he heard her distress, leather jacket flaring out around him as he ran. Logically he knew that she wasn’t in danger on the TARDIS but he also wasn’t taking any chances.

He burst through the door, not bothering to knock, and came face to face with his companion sitting up in bed. Her fists were clenched in the duvet and her normally pinkish complexion was alarmingly pale and he wasn’t sure but it looked like she was shaking. She turned haunted eyes on him and it all clicked and he wanted to kick himself.

He was extremely familiar with nightmares but had never stopped to consider that Rose might suffer from them to with all they did and saw on a daily basis.

Moving slowly, the Doctor took another step towards the bed, talking in a low voice as he tried to soothe Rose and remind her that she was safe now and on the time ship and with him. By the time he reached the side of the bed, she had unclenched her fists and was smoothing out the wrinkled fabric.

He perched on the edge of the bed and hesitantly reached out a hand to rest in on her shoulder, telling her that he was here if she wanted to talk about it. Rose shook her head and scooted over so she could wrap her arms around him, clinging to him and anchoring herself in the real world.

Unsure what to do with his hands, the Doctor cautiously put an arm around Rose and was rewarded by her snuggling closer to his chest. His hearts were pounding in his chest and he hoped she didn’t notice.

A few minutes passed in silence before he pulled back and offered to go get her a cuppa to help settle her. A wave of panic crossed over her face and her hand tightened in its hold on his jacket.

“Can you stay? At least for a bit? I don’t really want to be alone yet.” She sounded scared and just this side of desperate.

There was no universe in which he could say no to that request, no universe in which he’d want to.

He told her he would stay and then extricated himself from her embrace to take off his shoes and jacket.

He kept flicking glances at her as he moved around her room to stow his boots and folded jacket. She was still pale and her hands were still shaking and she looked painfully young and vulnerable in her fear. There was something about the middle of the night that stripped a person’s defenses down to the bare minimum. In the harsh light of day Rose always took care to appear confident and mature, to look like she had everything under control and could handle the strains of their life with nary an issue.

But now in the low light of her own bedroom, face free of the makeup she often used as armor against the world, she was just Rose, just a young woman who had faced things way beyond her ken and couldn’t just brush it off.

Once he had finished putting aside his own leather armor, he climbed onto her bed and gave into her plea to lie down even though he stayed on top of the duvet.

Rose curled into him, head resting in the hollow of his shoulder and arm slung over his waist. It wasn’t long until her breathing evened out and sleep claimed her. The Doctor let himself run a hand over her hair, indulging in the small act of affection while he had the chance. He needed to stay for a few minutes to make sure she was fully asleep before leaving anyways. He mused on what it could mean that his presence could so quickly ease her back into sleep after what had seemed to be an awful nightmare while his fingers slipped through her golden tresses.

He was still thinking when he succumbed to sleep as well.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The Doctor’s return to consciousness was slow and gentle, a gradual waking that he hadn’t experienced in…in a long time. Hoping the feeling of contentment would last a few hours, his eyes fluttered open.

His hearts did a little flip before starting a race in his chest at the sight that greeted him. Rose Tyler was propped up on her elbow next to him, smiling down at him gently. There were emotions that he didn’t dare put a name to shining out of her eyes and he croaked out a good morning to her.

Her smile turned mischievous before she adopted a horrible imitation of his accent and mimicked what he had told her multiple times. “There’s no morning on the TARDIS, we’re in the vortex.”

He wrinkled his nose at her in response and she started giggling, flopping down on her back, jostling him. The Doctor propped himself up to be able to look at her, lost in her amusement and the little flame of a feeling that he’d been sheltering in the space between his hearts suddenly expanded, warming him all over as he realized what it was.

He was in love with Rose Tyler. He didn’t just love her, he was actually _in love_ with this human who was simultaneously so much bigger and smaller than him.

It was terrifying and exhilarating and the Doctor knew he couldn’t tell her, not ever. He couldn’t risk burdening her with that knowledge, with him. Couldn’t risk the universe using her as a way to get to him just because he dared to love her, it’s not like he deserved her anyways.

He smiled down at her, letting the love show in his eyes for a fraction of a second before trying to dim down the flame and rolling off the bed, already starting to tell her where they were going that day.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It was supposed to have been a fun outing to New Earth, a chance for him and Rose to find their footing again. They’d stayed on the Estate for a week, ostensibly so the Doctor could recover from his regeneration and the ensuing regeneration sickness but he caught the unsure looks that passed over Rose’s face when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. She kept saying she knew he was still the Doctor but he could tell she wasn’t quite sure how to act around him anymore, wasn’t sure where they stood any longer.

So he took her to New Earth and his hearts had never felt as light as when he saw her excitement at being somewhere new once more and pressing against him briefly to tell him that she loved travelling with him. It was the reassurance he needed that this is what she wanted to be doing. Then she got her reassurance as he rambled on about New New York and their first date and he could tell she was more settled about his change as they walked to the hospital.

Then everything went wrong once they actually made it to the hospital and slipping back into the TARDIS after everything was more solemn than he had anticipated at the start. Rose excused herself to get some sleep almost as soon as they were in the Vortex and the Doctor just watched her go after bidding her good night.

It was probably for the best that they were apart for a little while anyways with them both pointedly and awkwardly avoiding talking about the kiss that the Doctor had most definitely not pulled away from or rejected when he thought it was still Rose and not Cassandra doing the kissing. Threw a bit of a wrench in his plans of getting him and Rose on normal, steady footing again, that did.

He settled under the console to tinker with things and take his mind off of how her lips had felt on his and how she had looked at him when Cassandra had finally left her for the last time. His distraction plan lasted exactly an hour before the TARDIS kicked him, tired of him “fixing” things.

He set off towards the galley grumbling at his ship along the way.

“Are you talking to the TARDIS?”

The Doctor jumped at Rose’s voice coming from behind him and hastily turned around, hand going to rub at the back of his neck. “Well, yes. She might have kicked me out of the console room when I tinkered a bit too much for her liking.”

Rose pressed her lips together trying to suppress a smile.

It finally registered to him as he sheepishly smile back that Rose was in just in a camisole and sleep shorts had said goodnight an hour ago and should be in bed.

“Didn’t you go to bed?” he blurted out.

Rose giggled. “I did, yeah. Couldn’t get to sleep though so I thought I’d make a cuppa and see if it helped.”

“Right, yeah. I was heading that way myself.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. The conversation felt ten kinds of stilted and he just wanted to be able to _talk_ to her without all these complications of regeneration and kisses in the way. She was still his best friend and he missed her.

He watched as Rose bit her lip and crossed an arm across her body, both good indicators that she was nervous about something. “Since you’re here, I was wonderin’ if maybe you could come sit with me until I fall asleep? Like you used to do?”

The Doctor nodded his agreement enthusiastically and gestured for her to lead on. The relief on her face was palpable and it hurt a little that she thought he might say no just because he’d changed. It hadn’t been a regular occurrence for him to sit with her until she fell asleep but it hadn’t been uncommon either, especially after rough outings. The first time was the only occasion on which he fell asleep with her.

Without saying a word, he followed Rose back to her room. As she settled underneath the covers, he toed off his trainers and slipped out of his suit jacket. He was heading towards the bed when Rose broke the silence.

“You have an undershirt on, yeah?” She waited until he nodded and then continued. “Might as well take the oxford off too, then. Buttons aren’t that comfy.”

He nodded again and quickly shucked the offending garment before climbing onto the bed. Rose immediately curled into him. The Doctor tentatively rested his hand on her hip.

She buried her face in his chest. “I know today wasn’t particularly high on the danger scale for us but s’just every time I close my eyes I feel Cassandra trying to compress me again.” She shuddered.

“You’re safe now,” he soothed.

 “Thanks for this, Doctor.”

“Of course,” he replied. “I might have changed my face but I haven’t changed that much that I would deny you this. I’m still me, Rose. I’m still the Doctor you met and travelled with.”

“I know. I do. Guess I’m just trying to wrap my head around it all still.”

“And you’re doing it brilliantly,” he reassured her, squeezing her hip through the duvet.

It wasn’t long after that that Rose drifted off to sleep, using his presence to ward off nightmares once more. The Doctor soon followed suit, unexpectedly tired from fighting Cassandra’s mental assault so soon after his regeneration.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A tickling sensation on his face brought the Doctor tumbling back into consciousness. It took him a few moments to remember that he was in Rose’s bed and with Rose and another second to realize that the tickling was Rose’s fingertips gently trailing over the planes of his face. She was memorizing him with her fingers, acclimatizing herself to this new him in a new way.

Slowly, he opened his eyes after she pulled her hand away and was treated to Rose smiling down at him, expression open and full of affection. It was the smile and look she used to give him when she thought he wasn’t looking or when he’d surprised her with a compliment.

A wave of love strong enough to take his breath away swept over him. Regeneration hadn’t changed his feelings towards Rose a whit and apparently waking up to her smile was one of the most potent feelings in the universe.

He couldn’t help the grin that spread over his own face as he said hello and she echoed it back to him. Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to tell her just what she meant to him, how much she had healed him. Tell her that she was everything to him. Tell her that he was head over heels in love with her.

It wasn’t time yet, she was still regaining her balance after the regeneration and he had time. They had time.

And maybe, if he was lucky, she loved him too. Maybe the universe was being kind for once and wouldn’t take this, take her, away from him just because he loved her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

There was no question about them sharing a bed when they stumbled into a Norwegian hotel. Jackie had called Pete and he had reserved them two rooms at the nearest place, the same hotel the family had spent the night in after the Doctor's first goodbye. When they checked in, Jackie took one of the keys and handed Rose the other before getting back on the phone to say goodnight to Tony, leaving Rose and the newly minted Doctor on their own in the hallway.

They didn't say a word as Rose unlocked the door.

The Doctor didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous. Rose had kissed him on the beach, yes, but then she’d barely said anything since the TARDIS had disappeared for the last time. But she’d stroked her thumb across his skin when he’d slipped his hand into hers and it gave him hope that they would work this out. They had to.

He was so worked up and worried that he didn’t realize how tense Rose was until they walked into their room. The door closed behind him and her shoulders sagged, revealing how much effort she’d been putting into looking strong.

“Rose,” he started, reaching out for her.

She met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. It felt so good to be able to hold her like this again. Feeling leather beneath his fingers was a new sensation but he reveled in the fact that he was experiencing something new with Rose again.

It was a full minute before she spoke and when she did. “This is where we stayed after you came through to say goodbye.”

Ah. That would explain some of the tenseness. “I’m here this time, Rose, and I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“I know. S’just bad memories and all that.” She pulled away from the hug and walked towards the bed. “I couldn’t sleep last time but I may be exhausted enough to manage it this time. I think I’ve been awake for over twenty-four hours at this point.”

As if to prove her point, a yawn interrupted her last few words and she smiled at him sheepishly.

Rose sat on the edge of the bed to take off her shoes and the Doctor wandered towards her. All of a sudden she sat up straight. “Oh, I didn’t even think to ask if you were okay with sharing a room tonight? I’m sure they have another one if you want your own space. I cou-”

“Rose, calm down. As long as you’re fine with me being here, this is where I want to be. I spent too long without you and would much rather be within arm’s reach all night instead of a room over as long as you’re okay with me staying with you.”

“I’d love you to stay,” she said, dipping her head and staring at her shoes that were now on the floor. “I just wasn’t sure you’d want to now that you changed again and all.”

“I’m still me and you know I’ll always stay if you want. I’ll always want to stay.” He paused, thinking. “I never told you that, did I?”

She shook her head, confused.

“That was an oversight on my part,” he said, sitting next to her on the bed. “The nights where you asked me to stay with you were my favorite nights, especially the ones when I fell asleep and woke up to see you next to me.”

“That only happened a couple of times,” Rose pointed out.

“More than you’d think, actually. Sometimes I fell asleep and then woke up before you and slipped out before you realized that I’d stayed.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I thought I did though.” The Doctor started taking off his own shoes and the two lapsed into silence as they shed their jackets and prepared for bed as best they could without pajamas.

They slipped into bed, both under the duvet. Rose stayed on her side of the bed for all of five seconds before curling up against the Doctor.

“You actually going to sleep, tonight?”

“I’m tired too,” he admitted. “Plus I think I’m going to be sleeping a lot more now that I’m part human.”

Rose answered him with a hum, already half asleep. His single heartbeat was her lullaby as exhaustion pulled her the rest of the way into unconsciousness.

The Doctor rubbed circles against the skin of her hip that was revealed when her shirt rode up and let her presence soothe him into sleep as well.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The press of lips against his cheek woke him up. It took him a moment for him to process the sensation and remember where he was, who he was with. A smile was already forming on his lips as he opened his eyes to see Rose about three inches from his face, grinning at him.

His breath caught in his throat. Her hair was impossibly mussed and there were dark circles and mascara under her eyes and she’d never looked more gorgeous to him. This was going to be the first of many mornings that he’d be able to wake up to this sight. No longer would this privilege be stolen moments. They had a lifetime now and there was no reason to hide how he felt about her, how she’d always made him feel.

They may have forever but he wasn’t wasting a second of it and he was never going to take it for granted ever again.

“I love you,” he rasped out, voice still rough from sleep.

“Good morning to you too,” Rose teased, her smile widening.

He pouted at her and she leaned down to brush a kiss across his lips. “And I love you, too.”

The Doctor pulled her down so she was half on top of him, holding her close. He was the luckiest man in any universe and the love in his singular heart for this woman was enough to fill two to overflowing. He buried his nose in her hair and knew that waking up to her smile would always be his favorite way to start the day.


End file.
